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S t a c i k i n s-Ox.

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(no subject) [Jan. 15th, 2008|12:43 pm]
Stacie .
[Current Choons. |Paramore-Emergency.]

I 'm sick of feeling this way.

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(no subject) [Jan. 1st, 2008|12:58 pm]
Stacie .

Discharged,woo!Well have been since 12th but yah,wooo!:P.How are you all?I'm so tired!up till half 6 this morning and went for a sleep and woke-up at 11 and had to come home cos i was staying at a friends house.I've been busy and out most of the time...My life revolves around sleeping,eating[i think i'm addicted to fizzy sweeties & cheerios!:O]spending time wif me fandoobulous friendlings and shooping!.I'm starting to get a little peed off cos people keep calling me goth & stuff because i like black etc-grrr!i like what i like-the end!!!.What's everyone else been up to?.Anyhoo pictoors as per!ta-ta fir noo!xxx

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(no subject) [Dec. 4th, 2007|12:58 am]
Stacie .
[Current Choons. |Paramore-Misery Buisness.]

Time for an update peeps=].How are ye all?.I'm not too shabby myself,doing pretty good!.Had a busy few weekends!.Shopping(my favourite pastime!),going to The Cathouse etc,tis been fun!.Anyway also a little quiz for ya all to answer,thanks!.Pictures under cut as always.



 

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(no subject) [Nov. 23rd, 2007|10:52 am]
Stacie .
[Current Choons. |Modern Swingers-The Pink Spiders.]

Don't you just hate it when you are in a good mood and feeling positive and then something(or someone)ruins it and brings you back down again?uhh.I'm trying not to care what anyone thinks but some people are so damn rude!and for no apparent reason.Especially when it's someone online who doesnt even know you!.I know i shouldnt let it get to me but it's difficult when my confidence is already topsy turvy.I just want to have a lazy day today and mope about and feel sorry for myself but I can't-I have a therapy session at my community team at 1*sighs*.I know it helps but meh-Can't be bothered today.I'm so peed off.I've not really been up to much.Well...I caught scabies!.I'm a healthy weight now so i'm trying to think postive about it but it's hard when you feel like a big whale.I know it's in my mind but yah I think i'll always feel like that.To be honest I don't care anymore and just so sick of  worrying my life away thinking about calories in food and obsessing over if I put on half a pound..Any plans for the weekend?.I'm going to a under 18's club thingymajig with my friends tomorrow called The Cathouse.I've never been before but apparently it has great music there-like rock so I'm hoping it's good.Also some of my photography was put up for show and for sale a few weeks ago in The Glasgow Royal Concert Hall and one of mine was sold,woo hoo!.Okay so it's nothing major but it's a start.Applied for a course at Cardonald Collge.It's a mixture of photography,jewellery making,textiles,pottery etc and it starts in Januray so lets hope I get accepted!.I've started on my scrapbook so I'll post soon.Anyway as always I come with pictures,some are old that I found on my computer though so beware!Hopefully I'll be in a better mood next time.bye.

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(no subject) [Nov. 17th, 2007|08:04 am]
Stacie .

Heyloo there,how are all my lovelys?.I feel great and I have no idea why.I'm sick of thinking about what people think about me-Lifes too short(well...it's not really if ya think about it lol but ya get what i mean!:P).Went to the park with my sister yesterday haha & we were like gimps on the swings and that-it was like being a litto kid again with no worries in the word!.Here are some recent pics as always,comments welcome!

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(no subject) [Nov. 8th, 2007|09:09 pm]
Stacie .
[Current Choons. |Don't Look Back Into The Sun-The Libertines.]

So bored so I'll post new pics-from Halloween and other various ones,comments welcomed,thank ya! x.

  

 

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(no subject) [Nov. 1st, 2007|05:32 pm]
Stacie .
[Current Choons. |Le Tigre-Deceptacon.]

So how was everyones Halloween?Mine could of been better coz I was meant to be going to a party but I had to miss it.Sucks.I'll Have pictures up asap.Also very good news for me!-I am on a maintaining food plan as from today!wooo!I'm 48kg and I thought my target weight was 52kg so thank god!.I'm on my period again(2nd consecutive one)and I never thought i would say this but I'm so happy to be!although the cramps really hurt-oweey!=[but they are so worth it coz it means I am healthy woooppppppppppp woooppppppppppp!.Anyone else doing anything for children in need this year?At the hospital we are fundraising and that,should be fun and for a good cause.Also got a funky new Hello Kitty clip from Ebay-Love it!It looks bigger and way better in person.Quick update,thanks for reading,bye x.


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(no subject) [Oct. 28th, 2007|01:44 pm]
Stacie .

 Blahh colds suck=(.My taste buds are gone so everything tastes like poop lol!.I'm on a food plan and I have to eat certain things even if they taste horrible otherwise my weight will drop,grrr.I'm now 7 stone 3 pounds-woop woop!one step closer to getting my life back on track,but at the same time i still feel like a oompaloompa lmao:p.I need to weigh it up-Would i rather be thin and unhappy or healthier and happy?.I have finally got a discharge date from hospital(about frikkin time,haha!)12th December!wooo just in time for Christmas=)).I've spent the past year and a bit running from my problems but now i'm ready to face my demons and challenge my anorexia-i'm stronger than it and lifes worth a lot more than worrying about if i put on a pound or too or if i eat a bit of chocolate.At the time I couldnt see that.I was just thinking earlier on about how bad things got.I would stand all day and shake my foot constantly too burn off any little calorie I could to make myself feel better and if I didnt I would get so anxious and hysterical if someone challenged me on it that I would sometimes even suffer panic attacks or pull my hair or slash  stomach or any part of my body  to punish myself because I felt so guilty.I felt guilty for doing something so normal and natural.I felt guilty for feeling lazy and I felt guilty and ashamed for betraying anorexia.I had failed and for that I had to punish myself-and my way of punishment was inflicting pain on myself and then exercising for a certain amount of time.It got so bad I would give myself a time limit on sleeping(6 hours only)because I felt lazy and thought if I lay down for longer I would burn less calories therfore become fat.When I think back now I feel shocked and just wanna go and slap some sense into myself lol!.At the time I was in denial and whenever someone would say to me "It's your illness making you do these things"I would simply reply with some defensive sentence like: "No it's not,it's me-Stacie".Ohh how wrong I was.Anorexia was so in contol of me I even thought I was fine and could make rational choices but it was the complete opposite.As cheesy and as corny as it sounds I feel I've found myself and who I really am and who I wanna be.I'm not scared of what people will think anymore(well mabye a lil bit but everyone is to a certain extent)to the point where it affects my ability to do what I want and not feel pressured.I wanna enjoy life and not just any life-My life.I'll always have ups and downs but I'm prepared and the bad days always make the good days worthwhile in the end=)).So,how has everyone else been?.I got my hair cut and now I look like a pineapply head,lol but ah wehl people luv pineapples eh?:p.One of my friends said I looked emo now but ah well whatever.As always I come with new pictures,so comments are welcome as ever,thank you.P.s I still can't get these stupid lj cuts to work,soo frustrating! x.

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(no subject) [Oct. 14th, 2007|09:27 am]
Stacie .
[Current Choons. |Samanda-Barbie Girl.]

Time to make my first proper entry.So...Wowee there is a lot to tell.I'm still in hospital atm-grr but approaching my target weight-grr lol but at the same time i'm kinda happy about it.I'm not as controlled by anorexia anymore.Yah-I prob still will always have it or cetrain traits of the eating disorder but it's not there 24/7 like it used to be.I previously felt my every action was controlled by the anorexia-you feel trapped and it's no fun to live like that.I couldnt even sit down before without feeling guilty or eat anything without wanting to burn it all off.If I couldnt for whatever reason I would get anxious and have panic attacks or at times get so frustrated I would harm myself.Now when I think back I can't believe my whole life for the past few years have been taken over by such a manipulate illness.One of the great things is through all this making some great friends in hospital(some with other mental illness as well as eating problems)and finally discovering who I am and what I want to do.I was diagnosed with mild depression a couple of months ago becaus I was feeling so low and worthless like life wasnt worth it and even getting out of bed was an effort so I'm now on the medication fluoxotine to help life my mood.It has really helped and I now feel happier than I have in my whole life and that is just a great feeling in itself.I feel I'm actually finally beginning to live and love life even though it's took like 16 years haha!.Enough of my soppyness.I have conjunctivitus(sp anyone?),swollen glands and a thumping headache-ohh what fun!.New pictures behind the cut=) x.    

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(no subject) [Oct. 13th, 2007|04:09 pm]
Stacie .
[Current Choons. |Aly & Aj-Potential Break Up Song.]

Heyloo everyone,I'm back with a new account,woo hoo!time to start afresh,comment here if you wish to be added or just to say hey.Did I miss you all?HELL YEAH!=p.Pics coming soon once i can figure out the lj cut code again haha,byee loves=)<3.

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